It’s now the end of three days and I have learned a few things. A) Don’t leave your vegetables on the counter when you are going to be gone for a long time; B) Expect problems. I went to that slumber party event and thought I had everything covered, but left my vegetables on the counter at home. So, I tried my hardest to find food that I could eat on the plan. I succeeded to some extent by finding a bistro that I could just get a plain ham and cheese sandwich and they had low-fat bread. However, during the next six hours with nothing to snack on that was on the plan was not fun. I succumbed to two little bundt cake samples that were literally forced in front of my face at the event and then even had a bit of popcorn. I actually did not really even want them, but it was more the IDEA of eating them that I wanted. I don’t feel I went off horribly, as they were small bite size little cakes, but you all know that both Jed and I tell you that just three small bites of something you are wanting will actually stop the craving and that was completely true in this case. I really did not want anymore after eating those.

Today, however, has been a bit of a challenge. It has been crazy hectic and has been hard to stay on a schedule. I did breakfast on the run, but got it in. Then after going to Church, I didn’t have time for a real lunch and ate it standing up as I was running out the door, and didn’t get a full lunch. Then by 7, very late for me to eat, Chinese food ended up being the dinner choice and I ate double portion of the rice, as I was hungry by then, and most of the meat was fried, which is not good. It’s like a sabotage thing. If you don’t take time to plan out the eating portion of your day, you end up eating what is in front of you, without thinking about good alternative choices. I know I didn’t overeat a lot, but it was enough for me to feel like I totally blew the day. So, what shows up at that point, but the, “since you have blown the day already, just give up and go eat what you want.” So, I started tapping and tapped out all of those cravings for deserts and the desire to just feel like I blew everything.

As a side note, I also tapped out yeast and sugar in combination, because after eating I started to crave something sweet, and that is the overabundance of yeast in your system that triggers that kind of a response. Especially if you have eaten a meal high in fat content, which I am pretty sure all that lovely fried sweet and sour chicken was.

So, here I am telling the whole world that I blew the third day just because I got busy and didn’t plan it out and allow for the good snacks throughout the day. I have noticed a pattern with me, though, that I hadn’t realized before. I am very much a type “A” personality. LOL (I did know that one!) But, what I do is eat a really good breakfast, and get through lunch just fine, but the busier my day gets and the more hectic it gets the worse I get at making good food choices. I go for the convenient things. Something easy to just either fix or warm up, and that usually means higher in fat content and not as healthy.

So, how do you fix something that is a pattern of behavior? That’s when your 9-gamut point comes in handy really well. I am tapping in the desire to make great food choices even when stressed and in a hurry into my brain centers, especially my amygdala, and then tapping in the desire to create a plan, by tapping out the desire to put off figuring out my evening meals until I am finished from work. That would be the huge procrastination center that most people have that is centered in the prefrontal cortex area.

So, now I am making a plan and planning out my week. Something I procrastinate doing all the time. I will blog more as we go along. I am meeting with the coach’s tomorrow and see how I am doing and then plan out phase 2. See ya at that point.

So, it’s been two days now and I am actually feeling great. Have I stuck with the program? For the most part with a few substitutions due to not having what was recommend in my house. I have not had a chance to go to the store, so making sure I had everything I needed for these four days in order to find something to eat on the program is a crucial part.

I had a singles party last night and did have to prepare ahead of time for that. Since I knew I was going to be tempted to eat all of the wonderful goodies, I went ahead and did an allergy of clearing on sugar again, not that I was testing as being allergic, but I wanted to remind myself that I didn’t want it. Then I took some chocolate and cleared the craving for it with the tapping. That was extremely effective. I did not even want the cookies, in fact, they didn’t even look good. I actually should have done that for the salt as well. LOL However, they did have some wonderful vegetables chips that were baked and actually had some decent ingredients in them. So I just made sure I ate only what was a portion and ate my vegetables and some grapes and I had no problem at all. I did not even feel deprived. So, to me that was a victory.

Emotionally, though, it has been a little different. I do have a lot of thoughts of what do I think I am doing, and why I am doing this, is this going to be worth it, etc. Pretty much just all fears surrounding putting myself out there again, believing that I might actually be able to lose weight on a program. You always go into doing any program with such high hopes and you work so hard at it, and then when you have had such bad results from programs in the past, the fears get pretty big about doing any programs again.

The memory that keeps popping up for me is when I did the biggest loser competition with one of the major gyms in the valley about 4 years ago. I had not learned how to clear psychologically at that point, so still had all that emotional baggage when I started the program. However, I love to exercise and I religiously exercised, doing a circuit every single day, except Sundays. I watched very closely what I ate and tried to make good choices and the first week I lost six pounds, which was amazing! I was thrilled. I had joined with my sister, so I had the motivation and someone backing me, etc. So, I felt like I was going to finally get past this and get my metabolism moving again. I had to be very careful not to flare up my fibromyalgia with doing too much, but I was really working hard at it.

That second week, I had actually gained back three of the pounds. I was devastated. I had been better that week than I had the first week. I had not eaten any sugar for two weeks and felt great. I tried to muster past that week and just maintain the status quo by exercising the same as I had been and eating right with no sugar, but I have to admit that my balloon had been deflated quite a bit. Well, the third week did not go well either and I only lost two pounds again, and then the fourth week I was stagnant, not loosing or gaining, and by the fifth and sixth week, I was not just trying to maintain my balance, but felt completely discouraged and felt it was not working, so pretty much gave up on the program, having lost a whopping 5 pounds. I did continue to exercise, however, four to five times a week, just because I enjoy exercising and it made my fibro feel better.

Since that memory has been so prevalent for me this morning, I have been doing a lot of clearing getting that out of there, and I have to tell you I feel great. I know there were other programs I went on with the same kind of results, but this was the prevalent in my mind, so it was what was triggering those emotions. Keeping track of how you are feeling emotionally versus what memories are coming up is crucial with this. I have released a lot of emotions around such programs over the past couple of years, but had forgotten about this one. So, my body definitely was reminding me of that.

Anyway, I will blog more as we go. I have to eat out tonight, so I will have to see how I can do that on the plan.

This week and in the subsequent 21 days, I will not be answering your questions, but blogging on my experiences in the 21-day program that I am doing in conjunction with Thin & Healthy Utah. Yes, I am doing a program. LOL I even woke up with anxieties about it this morning. Yes….I know, I teach people how to get through anxieties and here I am having one. LOL The anxiety was actually not about whether I could do the program, but whether I would lose weight.

You have to understand…and I think some of you do very well….I have tried everything and anything. In the past two years since starting on this journey and healing my fibromyalgia and all of the wonderful problems that go with it, as well as getting off all of those wonderful medications, I have gone through quite a myriad of ways to lose this lovely belly flab. LOL I have followed the plans religiously and have actually gained weight on some of them. Some of this was due to the fact that I had not cleared all the emotional baggage surrounding my weight, so to say they did not work entirely would be unfair, as the emotional baggage I carried with my weight was huge. However, even after clearing all of this, and losing 50 lbs, I still am here on a plateau. LOL These last few months I have cleared the last of my emotional baggage that I knew was getting in the way, so now I am ready to do this, and yes, my subconscious mind is very much in line with my conscious self, so I am ready; however, I still had that anxiety and when I thought about it the memory of trying that one thyroid cleanse last year and gaining 5 lbs on it was upper most in my mind. So, yes, I had to go in and clear out that memory and I felt MUCH better.

So, why did I decide on this program? Well, I have watched Jed for many months now and actually trust him and believe he knows what he is talking about. His heart is in it and his greatest desire is to help people. So, I feel SAFE! Yes, safety is a HUGE issue for me. I had to tap this one out many months ago, because I honestly did not feel I could trust someone to help me who did not have an ulterior motive, like selling a product, or a method, or whatever. So, safety was a big issue in trusting that his motives were honorable. He has never judged me or my weight and has never ever even asked me if I wanted to do one of his programs. He and I simply formed a great relationship just because are motives are the same and because we could help each other. So, I now need to trust that he can help me get off this plateau and back into losing again, just as he trusts me with his clients to help them clear away some of the emotional baggage that their weight carries.

I went through the program with him last night and was measured, weighed, and had my fat percentage calculated on my first visit. It is rather simple and is easy to follow. Have I felt hungry on it? Not so much hungry, as much as just wanting my favorite foods, you know my comfort foods. LOL I’m starting a new program, anxious about whether I will lose weight, and now I don’t have my favorite foods. LOL I have had to tap out some of these cravings. My favorite foods for the most part are very healthy foods. I have already tapped out my desire for cereal and white flour and sugar, etc. I spent several months back in January and February making HUGE changes in my diet and that of my children to bring us all into a healthier state, so my favorite foods are things like almonds, cashews, along with my cantaloupe, watermelon, etc. I’m told these will be added in later, so I’m not worried about missing them. I just have to give it a few days.

You start in phases and I am on phase 1 for about three to four days. I will go back in on Monday and be reweighed. Then next week I will also be meeting with the trainer and he will help me retrain my metabolism. I have done cross fit for almost a year now and even started up Zuma in July and have loved it, so I’m not sedentary, and I am passionate about exercise and intensity; however, I’m also not making progress, so I’m looking forward to meeting with him.

Well, enough for now. I will blog more tomorrow about some of the emotions I have had to clear over these past two years, as these have been critical in getting me to this point. Hope you all enjoy and I pray what I blog about helps you in some way to take on the challenge of losing the weight you have.

Hugs to all,
Karen